Like You
by Aunt Jo the Grammar Goddess
Summary: Have you ever wondered what went through Kit's mind when she heard Dewey was dead? This is my version of how she reacts to his death. Rated M. You'll see why if you read! The song is Like You by Evanescence.


_Stay low,  
__Soft, dark, and dreamless…_

"What?" Kit Snicket gasped. Instinctively, as if to protect the child she carried from the same fate, she put her hands on her stomach. She felt the sting of tears behind her eyes and knew she couldn't make it without him.

Dewey was dead.

Her husband of only three years—dead, gone. Olaf had killed him, shot him with a harpoon gun. Suddenly, Kit was at her house, although she'd no recollection of moving. The only thing she was sure of was being alone in their small bedroom. She found that he dominated her thoughts.

_For beneath my nightmares  
__and loneliness,  
__I hate me  
__for breathing without you.  
__I don't want to feel  
__Anymore for you._

She laid on their bed, stroking her belly and thinking about the many nights they spent in one another's arms. She thought of the many times he had made love to her, sweetly, gently. She thought of their life together, however brief it may have been. She fell asleep thinking of him and dreamt of him all night. She even woke to find her arms wrapped around her pillow, as if it were Dewey.

_Grieving for you,  
__I'm not grieving for you.  
__Nothing real love can't undo.  
__And though I may have lost my way,  
__All paths lead straight to you._

She laid awake for some time, wondering if it was all a dream, if he would walk through the door and apologize to worrying her. She rolled over naively and started at the wooden door, wanting him to open it. She waited for him to crawl in the bed beside of her and hold her.

He didn't.

She finally made herself get up and take a bath. She washed her blonde hair and had a most disturbing thought.

_I long to be like you…_

If she held her breathe long enough…if she forced her head under the warm, inviting water…

_…Lie cold in the ground like you._

A sharp pain in her chest reminded her to breathe. Movement from the child she carried reminded her she had at least one reason to live.

_Halo,  
__blinding wall between us… _

The remaining months of her pregnancy went by quickly. Before she knew it, she was attempting to give birth to her child. She succeeded. She was only in labor for six hours, which, according to her nurse, wasn't all that bad for a first-time mother. She waited anxiously for the doctor to let her hold the baby, but she was exhausted. She fell asleep soon after the baby was born. One of the nurses woke her the next morning. Before she could speak, Dr. Harris walked in the door.

"Where's the baby?" Kit asked.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Denouement—"

"Mrs." she corrected sadly.

"Mrs. … Kit. The hospital staff sends their condolences. Your little girl died last night in the nursery. I'm sorry," he repeated without feeling.

…_melt away and leave us alone again.  
__A humming, haunted somewhere out there.  
__I believe our love can see us through  
__in death._

She was still crying when Lemony came to visit his sister and niece. She was still weeping when they gave her an injection to help her sleep. She dreamed about Dewey again, about their first few months of marriage. She woke up in the middle of the night and thought she saw him sitting next to her. She reached out to touch his cheek, but he faded away. She cried herself to sleep again.

Lemony took her home a few days later. She'd missed the baby's funeral. He'd offered to stay with her until she could handle things again. She accepted. Gladly.

A week after being released from the hospital, she asked Lemony to take her to Dewey's grave. They'd never found his body, but Kit and Frank had insisted on a proper grave and headstone. In his "coffin," they'd put pictures of him, books he had liked, and anything that held a special memory. Kit had framed a copy of their marriage license and laid it on top of the pile. Some days, she wished she could have put his wedding ring in there as well.

_I long to be like you. Lie cold in the ground like you…_

They'd done it all for the baby—for Anna Michelle Denouement. They'd done it so she would have a place to go and grieve for her father when she was old enough to hear the dreadful tale.

_…There's room inside for two,_  
_and I'm not grieving for you…_

A surge of grief shot through her when they arrived at the cemetery. She felt tears come to her eyes and spill over onto her cheeks. When she spotted his grave, she ran towards it and fell to her knees.

…_I'm coming for you._

They stayed at the cemetery until the sun began to set. Lemony gently nudged his sister into action. "Come one, Kit," he said quietly. "It's getting dark, and besides…I'm hungry." She wordlessly got to her feet and walked back to the car, holding her little brother's hand all the while. On the way home, Kit thought about ways to word a suicide note.

Lemony offered to stay with her again but she refused. She wanted—_needed_—to be alone tonight.

"Can I come by in the morning?" Lemony asked.

She nodded. She needed someone to find her.

When he finally left, she sat down with a pen and a piece of paper and composed a brief letter saying everything she had was to be given to VFD.

_You're not alone,  
__no matter what they told you.  
__You're not alone…_

She began to write a note to her brother, the only living family she had left.

**Dear Lemony,**

**My Dewey calls to me, begging me to join him. He is holding my baby, and she is crying for her mother.**

**I cannot live without my family. My life is empty. This pain will slowly destroy me, eat me away at the insides, torture me, as if that fateful harpoon were soaking in acid in my stomach.**

**My time has come. Wait for me, Dewey.**

**Love,**

**Kit Denouement**

There, she thought. Now he'll know why.

She had yet to decide how she would carry out her deed. Dewey hadn't lied guns, especially when Kit had been pregnant. She decided she was too lazy to hang or smother herself. She found six sleeping pills in the bottom of a box in the medicine cabinet.

Death by water?

The more she thought about it the more appealing it became. Being warm and comfortable until sleep descended, no memory of the water invading her lungs…

_…I'll be right beside you forevermore!_

She walked into the bathroom and started running the water.

_I long to be like you.  
__Lie cold in the ground like you.  
__There's room inside for two,  
__and I'm and grieving for you.  
__I'm coming for you._

As the tub filled with water she swallowed all six pills. She hoped this worked. She needed—_needed_—to be with her husband and daughter. Her family.

When she felt the pills start to take effect, she undressed and lowered herself into the water.

_And as we lay in silent bliss,  
__I know you remember me._

Calm silence descended and Kit knew it wouldn't be long until she was dead.

_I long to be like you.  
__Lie cold in the ground like you…_

Soon, Kit couldn't hold her eyes open any more.

…_There's room inside for two,  
__And I'm not grieving for you… _

She felt her hands slide into the cooling water. She couldn't move, even if she wanted to do so. She dreamt of briefly of Dewey and Anna. They were happy in death, as she would soon be as well. She held her daughter for the first time in that dream. The happiness ended suddenly, everything turning black.

Kit realized she was dying.

Lemony walked in a few minutes later to find his sister near death. He called an ambulance, but they were too late. She was pronounced dead upon arriving to the hospital.

…_I'm coming for you._


End file.
